"With a calendar, your days are numbered."

Note: The first half of the blog was drafted April 2024.

I was driving home from work when I noticed this odd statement on a billboard. I thought it was a strikingly bold statement, and I wondered how it was connected to the unknown business that posted it. It felt like the message was calling me out.

Lately, I've been navigating a lot of change. Over the course of the past month, I helped my sister pack up all her belongings and move back to our home city of Chicago, my relationship with my boyfriend took a major peddle to the brake, I received news that I am no longer able to renew my lease in my dream home. And I've also been trying to figure out what I need to change in my professional life to make it more aligned with the the future I dream of.

I have been noticing my use of calendars this past week. Filling up my days with events and to-dos. But I don't want to just "get through" my days. I want to be fully present for every single one of them. Within this past year, there's been a shift in how I perceive time. It feels so, so precious. I get frustrated and regretful when I use it in ways that don't "serve" me. (Ironically, I waste time dwelling on using time better.) As an administrator now, my summers are shorter, and I've started to worry that I'm going to not live these precious days to the fullest.

I'm a planner to some degree, but I'm also largely not. My friends and family can both attest to this. I have a hard time committing to plans in advance, unless they're a full on heck yes. I also like to "play things by ear" more often than not, because I won't be able to tell what I'm ~feeling~ until I'm closer to it. I'm not saying this part of me necessarily has to change, but I am starting to think that making and committing to plans can be a proactive move to living life more fully.

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It's been 7 months since I've written the words above. Here are a few things I've committed to:

My weekly book study crew!

• A weekly Wednesday book study with a group of inspiring women

• Replacing alcohol with mocktails for the past 3 months and counting

• Buying a house for the first time, and as a single lady :)

• Ballet lessons for 6 weeks

• A solo trip to Portland

• Spending more money on quality and enjoyment (or "research" as I call it when I choose the nicer meals at dinners, with the intention of learning how to make it myself)

• 5 simple morning stretches to start my day before I get out of bed

I get excited to keep building on my list of commitments. Including this blog. What are yours?